Melancholy

Grief knows no calendar.

I guess I will always feel a little melancholy in January.

I lost my mom two years ago this month, and I continue to be surprised at just how much harder it is to move on from her death than what I’ve experienced after losing our other parents.  I don’t know if it was the fact that she was our last living parent, if it is because I was closer to her than any of our other parents, or if it’s something else.  Without a doubt, though, grief is taking it’s sweet time with me, it seems.

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I think most people tend to give a lot of leeway to family members and friends in the first year after the loss of a close loved one.  Tackling all those “firsts” can be so, so hard, and I certainly found that to be true after losing my mother, just as it was after we lost our other parents.  I had quite a bit of support, especially from my closest friends, and I’m grateful for the love shown that truly helped me through that first year.

Grief didn’t care about that calendar, though.  Not one bit.

Last year was my second full year without Mom, and I swear it was just as hard on many occasions as it was in year one.  Understandably, most people assume that after that first year, all is fine… or at least better, so I started to just keep my feelings to myself and not burden others with my continuing feelings.  Friends have other interests in their lives and suffer their own heartaches.

Life moves on for all of us.

But, as Shelby’s mom said in Steel Magnolias after the graveside service for her sweet Shelby…

“I’ll tell you what I wish. … That’s what my mind says, I just wish somebody would explain it to my heart.”  (Steel Magnolias… 1989)

Oh, how very true that statement is.  So, so true.  (I’m not sure a movie ever truly captured such a true manifestation of grief as this particular scene at the cemetery.)

I have no sage wisdom to share today, except to simply acknowledge that grief doesn’t stick to a one-year calendar, despite that conventional viewpoint these days.  Acknowledging the ongoing grief helps a bit, and that’s why I’m writing today.  Simple acknowledgement.

I hope this lesson sticks with me and reminds me to have a tender heart toward others in the future, perhaps by simply marking my calendar and letting them know that I’m thinking of them and offering a heart-felt, sympathetic prayer for them on their own hard anniversaries.

I want to make it count, this often hard path I continue to find myself on without my Mom in my life.  (The article linked is absolutely fabulous.)

During this anniversary month of Mom’s passing, I’m reading The Broken Way by Ann Voskamp, and so far, it is quietly speaking to my broken heart.  Ann’s writings are best savored slowly and deliberately, and every day, I’m slowly “getting it.”  Perhaps if you find yourself with a broken heart right now, this book might offer some insight to you, too.  If not right now, perhaps make a note of this great book for a time you might need it in the future?

Ann is “explaining it to my heart,” and I am grateful.

 

Wordless Wednesday – First Edition Epic

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Free Christmas E-Book

What a nice little surprise!  I just noticed this well-rated e-book this morning and thought I would share it here while it is still free.

Remembering Christmas by Dan Walsh (for Nook)
Remembering Christmas by Dan Walsh (for Kindle)
Remembering Christmas by Dan Walsh (for iBook)

And thanks once again to the great folks at http://www.the-cheap.net for yet another great freebie find!  I check their site almost daily.  Enjoy!

D
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Check Out “The Cheap – Nook Deals”

I just realized that I have not yet blogged about the Nook that I received as a gift earlier this year, and I will most definitely do that very soon, along with a few of the great books that I have read so far this year.  For now, though, I would like to share a new site that has been created as of today to share free and discounted e-books for the Nook.  This is the result of two popular sites that have now merged their resources on Nook finds, and I have regularly checked both sites each week for deals with great results.  I am quite happy that they have now combined their efforts, and the new site is even better than before as far as ease of use and the ability to find books that I am interested in reading.  The site’s owners obviously do a lot of research to find so many great freebies and discounted reads (that are actually good), and I am excited about this new direction that they are taking as of today.

The site is called “The Cheap – Nook Deals.”  Check it out if you have a Nook device or a free Nook app for your computer or mobile device.  I have also linked the site under the “Fun” listing on the right side of this page, along with their “piggy” page logo, and they can also be found on Twitter at @theCheapNook.  I am a big fan, and if you are a Nook user, I think you will be, too.  I am all about saving money, even though I don’t mind occasionally paying full price for a book that I really want to read, too.  It’s nice to have options!

Happy Reading!

D